It used to be that the majority of the people pacing in my head were those that were trying to silence me, overwork me with no recognition, or even take from me. These past few months I’ve been reminded of all the great folks that lift me up. And reminded that I must lift others up myself. I think much of this began with my chosen sister, Elisha. And the family she has become and shared with me. In my reality a good portion of my blood family cannot be defined by what family means to me. When I arrived at the University of Puget Sound, in my very first moments I was included in the African American Studies family. The foundation of this family for me resides with Grace and Renee—black women who are there for me in the many ways I need but, most especially as mentors. Dexter , our director, has welcomed me and my shenanigans and truly showed me what support from leadership looks like. And it was Dexter, Grace, and Renee who schemed to put me on the platform to introduce two of the three co-founders of Black Lives Matter.

I will never forget the moment when Dexter showed me the program for the keynote platform in which appeared my name, and in response I stated, “um… I’m good.” My entire being told me not to accept this endeavor. Why did I not want this honor? First, perhaps I believed, as times before reminded me from the oppressive people in my life, that I did not deserve it. Second, perhaps because too many times folks who are on the stage are those that try to steal it, take from others, have too big of a head, and are destructive in their vanity, and that is not and will not be me. As Dexter pulled the paper back, I paused and realized the magnitude of this honor. I said, “Dexter, if you are asking me to do this, then it means you desire my voice on that stage and I will do this.” For me, I like to lift others, so how can I not accept this effort to lift me? I began my writing process and despite consistent interruptions, because we were planning a major conference that was starting in a week, I found time to steal a seat with Grace, the wordsmith, and gain her mentorship in supporting what I was already composing. But I did not want her to read it, I wanted her to hear it from the stage. I stole a few moments from Renee the night before the keynote, asking her simply to read my introduction of Alicia Garza and Patrisse Cullors. I wondered if it was indeed appropriate for an introduction. Renee, a true writer, gave me a simple, yet trusted affirmation, that indeed my introduction would be great.

Meeting Alicia and Patrisse prior to their keynote was truly an experience, and as they saw on my lapel a Black Girl Magic pin, I brought into the room yet another woman who lifts me up as I too lift her. I had been searching for my Black Girl Magic pin for a week, and this woman, Lakeisha, in a timely fashion reminded me where I had it last. She stopped by our offices on a the first day of the conference, and said, “girl it’s on your jean jacket… I had been wearing it for a weeks.” “Did you return it?” “Yeah girl, with that suitcase I borrowed.” I hadn’t looked in the suitcase, but when I got home I did and there it was. I knew I needed that pin, and that pin was the conversation starter for me, Alicia and Patrisse as one stated in applause, “Black Girl Magic.” And I said, “yes.” And I told them about my journey to recover my pin just for this event. I shared with Alicia and Patrisse that I would be introducing them, and that in my introduction I would be not only sharing words about them as individuals but also I’d be introducing the movement and mentioning their third co-founder, Opal Tometi. In this moment, my nerves began to be uneasy, as reality was setting in. Would I introduce them in the manner they deserved?

As I walked onto that stage, Dr. Dexter reminded me to “breathe,” and as I remembered to breathe, and remembered all those folks lifting me up, I delivered an introduction of Black Lives Matter that garnered three sets of applause leading up to the journey of Patrisse Cullors arriving on stage and gifting me with a hug. And then I got to sit and listen. And they took us to “church”, and by “church” I mean a space where response was inevitable, where faith—belief in something you cannot see—was alive and ready. This 2018 Race & Pedagogy National Conference brought two of the co-founders of Black Lives Matter together, in a space yearning for their voices. What an amazing experience to hear each of them, and to be able to recognize why they are two of the three leaders of a movement with the definition of being a collective. They spoke about each other the way we wish black women, and black folks in general would speak of each other and lift each other.

I joined a small group of folks in a post meet and greet with Alicia and Patrisse and having already taken my picture I wanted to make sure some others that have supported me, would spend time with them as I had been able to earlier. But also, I wanted them to meet one of the youth that was doing the work for Black Lives, Zyahna. For me, it mattered most that Zyahna experience such an interaction, and I hope that for her it was beneficial. But something of surprise for me, came as I stood with some while Alicia and Patrisse connected with others, I realized a type of calm, quiet, peace in the space that I guess I did not expect. I realized despite such a grand stage, with massive sound and energy, these two women remained, in a way humble, and so it declared the calm energy in the space and time for everyone to speak with them. I had a few moments with Patrisse and Alicia again and it meant more to me than I’ll be able to express. Particularly when they both were so thankful for my introduction, and shared a sense of joy in what I had spoken before they entered. And upon their request I have shared a copy of my introduction with them. For me all I desired to do was to lay a foundation for their entrance that would speak to the work they do in laying the foundation for those after them. Just as black women before us have laid the foundation for all of us. Truly, a joyous moment to be supported by so many.

In my journey to this moment, and for all moments to come, the two people that have lifted me up the most are my father and my mother. My mother passed away in January 2018, and all this week I thought about her pride in me before and the pride she’d have in me now. As my father reminded me when I called to tell him how great the event was, “I already knew you’d be great. We already knew.” I will never forget the morning I introduced Alicia Garza and Patrisse Cullors.

I Never Imagined This: The Day I Introduced Alicia Garza & Patrisse Cullors